For any Christian who has ever lost a loved one…

Is it possible to “move on” after a loved one has died? How are Christians supposed to grieve? Are they supposed to pretend that they aren’t missing the one they loved? Are they less of a Christian if they continue to grieve weeks, months, or years after a loved one dies?

I think we grieve because we miss the person. It kind of feels like they are on a long trip but it’s a trip where they will never come back—you will never see them again. You will never see the smile on their face or hear the excitement in their voice as you tell them about the great thing that happened to you… they will not be there to tell you that everything will be fine if you have a bad day… and they will not be there to hug you when you need it.

Certain smells, sounds, or images remind us of them. A smell of a certain food will remind us of a time when they had a meal with us, or we see a certain movie or TV commercial and think back to when we saw it with them. It brings back happy memories, but then we realize that they are gone and then our heart aches.

I don’t think we ever get to the point where we don’t feel a sense of loss. As Christians we struggle with grieving properly because we want to look like strong believers who are happy that the loved one is in heaven (and we truly are happy about that), but there is an emptiness that longs for the person to be in our presence. So how are we supposed to “move on”?

I think of Hebrews 12:1, “since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith… let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.” We go on because our loved one is watching and cheering for us from heaven, so we continue with life as living testimonies of Christ. Will we continue to feel sad? Yes, but God will help us—“the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness… the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying” (Romans 8:26-27). So to honor the one that we loved, we must, “Run in such a way as to get the prize” (1 Corinthians 9:24)!

Let First Thessalonians 4:15-17 encourage us: “We who are still living when the Lord returns will not meet him ahead of those who have died. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First, the Christians who have died will rise from their graves. Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever” (NLT).

Copyright © 2011 M. Teresa Trascritti

“Quality of Life”

Yesterday the local news station had the following headline: “Baby Giraffe Dies At Zoo After Breaking Leg”
(http://www.wlwt.com/news/28424249/detail.html). I wondered how an animal could die from breaking a leg– was it an infection? I clicked on the article and saw that the giraffe did not die from natural causes, but that the vets decided to euthanize it “based on the animal’s quality of life.” Other than a broken leg, the animal was fine– it was young, and perhaps it would have been able to compensate for the broken leg and adjust; but we will never know.

It made me angry that people decided to take the life of this animal. Who determines “quality of life”? How far can one take that? Right now there is a distinction between human life and animal life– more value is placed on a human’s life; but is it possible that one day people can look at a severe Alzheimer’s patient and say that he or she does not have “quality of life”? The thought is very scary.

I think of Colossians 1:16, “through him [Jesus] God created everything in the heavenly realms and on earth. He made the things we can see and the things we can’t see— such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world. Everything was created through him and for him” (NLT). No one but God can determine life or death.

Yes, this baby giraffe was just an animal, but God gave it life. Who are we to determine the “quality of life” of any living thing?

Copyright © 2011 M. Teresa Trascritti

My father-in-law

I have read that some people get their understanding about God from their father—if one’s father is distant, then they see God as being distant. Since my parents separated when I was 7 years old and I hardly saw my father before then, I did not really have a father so I did not really have an impression of God. If anything, it was that God was not there.

One day I met a guy; we fell in love and wanted to get married. Since I did not really have a family we decided to get married at the courthouse, but his parents insisted that we get married at their church. So I flew from California to Florida to get married. I remember meeting my future mother-in-law—she came out to greet us. I also remember meeting my future father-in-law too. He had a big smile on his face and he gave me a big bear hug. My new impression of God started on that day.

I remember the whole week before my wedding, it rained every day. Saturday morning the sun came out and my future father-in-law said, “Teresa, the sun came out just for your wedding.” He was so happy. As we were all getting ready to go to the church, my future father-in-law offered to give me away since no one from my family was there. It was such a sweet gesture, but I told him that I would be fine. After the wedding my mother-in-law said that I could call them by their first names or I could call them “Mom” and “Dad.” I told her I wanted to call them “Mom” and “Dad.” So on that day I was adopted into the family and had a new set of parents, but most of all I had a father.

I enjoyed hearing my father-in-law’s stories. He loved telling them and I loved listening to them. He seemed to go out of his way to include me and I always felt like I was part of the family. I remember getting cooking lessons from him—he showed me how to make sauce and how to roast red peppers. I tried to show him how to make Lumpia, but he was only interested in eating them. =)

I think he knew that I needed a father and he treated me as a daughter. I remember so many things about my father-in-law. I remember when we watched him preach—there were only a handful of people in the congregation, but it didn’t matter to him—he preached as if he was speaking to a thousand people. I remember when he prayed over my husband as he was getting ordained. I cried because it was a special honor for us. I remember how he held each of my children, and how he loved them.

I remember when he said good-bye to me last year. He gave me the ultimate blessing when he said that I was a good wife and a good mother. He said that he was proud of us. It meant a lot to hear those words. I will miss him. I will miss his encouragement. I wish I could turn back time and spend more time with him—listening to his stories and enjoying meals with him, but I will have to wait until I see him again in glory. Today I am not only mourning the death of my father-in-law, but I am also mourning the death of my adopted father. I love you, Dad! Because of you, I see God as a loving God—a God who reached out to me—me, a worthless sinner— and allowed me to be called a child of God (John 1:12). Because of your acceptance of me, I see God as accepting of me—He grafted me into His family (Romans 11:17). Because of your testimony and example, I am prepared to accept whatever God lays before me; and I hope I will be as faithful as you. Thank you for helping me to see God as He truly is!

Tough week…

These past couple of weeks has been the hardest for me. My week started with a visit to a doctor on Monday morning. I scheduled the appointment because I had been feeling chest tightness and heart palpitations (the week prior to the visit, I had an EKG and a heart monitor). After reviewing blood work and the results of the 24 hour heart monitor she diagnosed my condition as “Sinus tachycardia.” She told me that I needed to take Atenolol or I will have a heart attack. I asked her if the heart palpitations could be a result of a virus, but she said it wasn’t a virus. I did not have a good feeling about taking the medication, but took it anyway. After taking it for 2 days, I became very depressed and had crying fits. I called her office and she told me to cut the medication in half and that she was going to give me something “for stress.” I found out that one of the adverse side effects for Atenolol is depression, and the doctor had prescribed an anti-depressant for me. I didn’t take the anti-depressant, in fact later that day the Atenolol started to ware off and I did not have the crying episodes anymore.

I was on the ½ dose of Atenolol for 3 days until I noticed that my fingers were numb and cold. It felt like my fingers were swollen but they weren’t. I had a hard time gripping things and the color of my skin was greyish. It was too late at night to call the doctor so we called the nurse-on-call at our insurance’s hotline. She suggested I stop taking the medication (numb, cold fingers is another adverse side effect). For the next 2 days I worried that I would have some kind of major heart episode because I wasn’t taking the medication. On Sunday afternoon, I had a lot of heart palpitations and was very dizzy and light headed—I thought I was having a heart attack. Fran took me to a Quick Care facility and they ran their tests—EKG, blood pressure standing, sitting, and lying down. After all the tests, the doctor told me that there was nothing wrong with my heart and that I had a virus. She said that the virus can cause heart palpitations especially since I was dehydrated.

Needless to say, I am not going back to that one doctor anymore; but even though this was a scary week for me, I realize that there is nothing I can do to heal myself. I prayed for God to heal me, but I also realized that if I died that there was nothing I could do about it. The book of Matthew has new meaning for me now. Chapters 4 and 5 reminded me that Satan tempts people and causes them to be fearful, but that God blesses those who are faithful. This morning I read Chapters 8 and 9, where it recounts Jesus healing sick and demon possessed people. This afternoon as I sat in the living room, I felt the tightness of my chest go away. It happened so suddenly that I thought I had died. I sat still, waiting to feel my heart beat, and it did. God heals.

Dear Friend

Dear Friend,

I am sorry to hear about all the difficulties you are encountering. Although I do not know why, I know that God has a reason for it. I came across this Scripture verse recently (see below):

Lamentations 3:22-23 & 31-33: “The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning… For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love. For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow.”

The way I see it, we encounter negative situations because God has allowed it, but God is still there to see us through it. We might feel that He is far away or that He has abandoned us, but He hasn’t. He’s still there. We have to believe that He is allowing these things to happen because it will make us a better person– a person who looks more like Jesus. Trust that He will get you through any circumstance He has placed before you– keep your focus on Him. Do not let the situations in your life distract you from your own personal devotions and prayer to Him because He is the only One who can get you through it.

May you feel God’s peace and presence as you face these difficulties, and May you draw strength from Him and His Word.

In Him,
Teresa

The power of prayer

Sometimes people say that God has not answered their prayers—they pray a few times and then give up praying. But we have to be faithful in praying to Him even though it doesn’t look like He will ever answer us. The very act of faithfully praying will change us and the situation because it focuses our attention on God. Our fervent, daily prayer is helping us to rely on God and not to rely on ourselves. Each time you pray for “the thorn” to be removed, you are being shaped. Your mind and your soul is connecting closer to God and less on your circumstances. For 25 years I had prayed for God to remove the emotional pain associated with my childhood, then one day I felt no more pain. I am reminded of the passages in Luke 11:

“Once when Jesus had been out praying, one of his disciples came to him as he finished and said, “Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples.” He said, “This is how you should pray: “Father, may your name be honored. May your Kingdom come soon. Give us our food day by day. And forgive us our sins– just as we forgive those who have sinned against us. And don’t let us yield to temptation.

Then, teaching them more about prayer, he used this illustration: “Suppose you went to a friend’s house at midnight, wanting to borrow three loaves of bread. You would say to him, `A friend of mine has just arrived for a visit, and I have nothing for him to eat.’ He would call out from his bedroom, `Don’t bother me. The door is locked for the night, and we are all in bed. I can’t help you this time.’ But I tell you this–though he won’t do it as a friend, if you keep knocking long enough, he will get up and give you what you want so his reputation won’t be damaged.

“And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will be given what you ask for. Keep on looking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And the door is opened to everyone who knocks” (Luke 11:1-10 NLT).

If you are praying for God to work in your life, then do not give up—keep praying.

Copyright © 2011 M. Teresa Trascritti

Endure and persevere!

Have you ever felt like giving up?

Second Corinthians 4:8-9 says, “We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don’t give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going” (NLT).

“Perseverance” is a “steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement” and “persistent determination” (dictionary.com).

I believe God has a plan for all of us. I also believe that God allows things to happen in our lives because it causes us to rely on Him more. Hardships are an opportunity for us to grow. It’s hard to believe that a painful or difficult situation helps us, but it does. We have to be mindful of two things, (1) we will all encounter troubles, and (2) we must see trouble from a different perspective.

James tells us, “Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything” (James 1:2-4 NLT).

Situations in life happen for a reason. Don’t give up, instead rely on Him more.

Question: What kind of troubles and hardships are you going through right now? How can you see it as an opportunity for growth?

Read 2 Timothy 2:3-13

Copyright © 2010 M. Teresa Trascritti

My bias for online education

I had to write this brief paper as a faculty exercise. Below is my bias =)

___________

“The Future of Online Teaching and Learning”

I thought this article would be interesting to read because it was about online teaching and learning, but it also focused on higher education. The article starts out by saying that eLearning is experiencing a “perfect e-storm” because educators are trying to merge “pedagogy, technology, and learner needs” in delivery modes such as “electronic books, simulations, text messaging, podcasting, wikis, and blogs” (Kim & Bonk, 2006, p. 22).

The authors examined several surveys that had been conducted and discovered that “only 23-45 percent of online instructors actually used online activities related to critical and creative thinking, hands-on performances, interactive labs, or data analysis” (Kim & Bonk, 2006, p. 23). This was surprising to me because I would expect the number to be much higher since there is so much technology that is available now.

The authors conducted a survey of 562 online educators (66% were teachers and the rest were administrators or instructional designers) (Kim & Bonk, 2006, p. 24). Participants were asked to complete a 42- item questionnaire regarding the “current status and future trends of online education in higher” (Kim & Bonk, 2006, p. 24). Some of the interesting findings of the study were as follows: (1) “a majority of the respondents predicted that the quality of online courses would be superior to (47 percent) or the same as (39 percent) that of traditional instruction by 2013”; and (2) “learning outcomes of online students would be either the same as (39 percent) or superior to (42 percent) those of traditionally taught students by 2013” (Kim & Bonk, 2006, p. 26). I think these findings show that the perception of online learning has changed. I remember when I first started taking online classes; people were telling me that I would not learn as much as I would in a traditional classroom, but depending on the instructor and how the course is implemented, I think more learning can take place in an online environment because there are more opportunities to help students one-on-one (for example, students can contact the instructor via email or contact the instructor through instant messaging).

This article caught my attention because of the title. I have taught online for a few years now and my preference is to teach online. I first started teaching on-campus classes, and when I switched to online teaching I was told that more work was involved with teaching online. I have come to realize that both on-campus and online teaching has the same workload, but I prefer online teaching because I can interact with the students more. I feel like I am making more of a difference in their lives.

This article relates to my current professional role because I an adjunct instructor for several schools with online programs. I believe that the future of online education will increase, and in fact I have more students now than I did a few years ago. I think this article confirms that online education (eLearning) is more widely accepted now and is almost the educational “norm” for working adults (meaning it is the main way of getting an education if someone has a full-time job/family). What is amazing to me is that the quality of online education and the learning outcomes of online learning are perceived to be superior by 2013. I believe this is because more educational tools can be utilized in an online environment versus a traditional classroom. To me, traditional classrooms (i.e. lecture only format) will be a remnant of an old educational practice. Our society is full of technological gadgets and programs and we have to find a way to utilize it for educational purposes if we want to make education less boring and mundane. Incidentally, this article stated the following, “bored students are dropping out of online classes while pleading for richer and more engaging online learning experiences” (Kim & Bonk, 2006, p. 22). I can see the advantages of online education and I can also see how eLearning can be richer than a traditional setting—there is no better way to merge education with technology than online.

References
Kim, K., & Bonk, C. J. (2006). The future of online teaching and learning in higher education. Educause Quarterly 4, 22-30.

Struggles

This was something I shared with a friend and thought it might encourage someone else…

I have come to realize that the things (good or bad) that happen in our life was meant to happen. I think God uses it to build us up, shape us, humble us, etc. If things were perfect, then we would not have a need to cling to God. I think when we struggle with things it helps us to grow close to Him– we have nowhere or no one to turn to but Him. Whenever I am afraid, I know it is Satan. I still struggle with building close relationships and it used to cause problems in my marriage. I have to make a conscious effort to break through that fear. I remind myself that all things are possible with God… that God does not give us a spirit of timidity… and through Christ I have the strength to do all things. All of us have something we are struggling with. I think it is sad when some people pretend that they are living perfect lives because they are isolating themselves from others who can walk along side them in their struggle. I think struggles make us stronger– if we can go through our struggles everyday, then we can face anything!

Copyright © 2010 M. Teresa Trascritti

Hitting bottom

Hello again! It has been a while since I last posted on this site. God is good– I am still here!

I have been reading through the Bible, starting from Genesis. I am now in 1 Kings.  Yesterday I read 1 Kings 8 and thought I would share my thoughts about it.

In 1 Kings 8:46-50 Solomon prays to God, “If they sin against you– and who has never sinned?– you may become angry with them and let their enemies conquer them and take them captive… But in that land of exile, they may turn to you again in repentance and pray, ‘We have sinned, done evil, and acted wickedly.’  Then if they turn to you with their whole heart and soul… Then hear their prayers from heaven where you live. Uphold their cause and forgive your people who have sinned against you” (NLT).

Even though Solomon was praying for a group of people, I think this prayer can still be individualized– we all sin and sometimes sin takes us to a “place” where we should not be, but it is in that place that we realize we need God. It is being at the lowest point of our lives, held captive by our sins, that we desperately look up and seek God.

Sometimes we don’t even realize that we are moving away from God until one day we wake up and wonder how we ended up in a pig sty. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in our everyday lives that we forget to communicate or even think about God.   [It's funny that when things go well we tend to forget about God.  Deuteronomy 8:11 says, "Beware that in your plenty you do not forget the LORD your God" (NLT)].  We need to thank Him for the low points in our lives because that’s when His presence is greatly felt, in fact we need low points because it jolts us back into a relationship with Him– “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28 NKJV).

Copyright © 2010 M. Teresa Trascritti